New thing I didn't know I needed: Keyport

You know how you have a lot of annoying and bulky keys like your office key, your front door key, your apartment key, maybe your car key, and your mailbox key? You can basically cut all their tops off and mush them into one unit like a Swiss Army knife for keys.

$80ish depending on what you put in it

The keys are on colored sliders so you just pop out the blade you want.
You can also substitute a usb drive or a can opener or an LED light for some of the 6 slider compartments. SO COOL.

You would never jangle when you walk around and you wouldn't have giant bulky keychains anymore.
The only bad news is that if you lose this or if it gets stolen you probably really want to just kill yourself.