What to Buy from Pottery Barn's Sale Section

I never even think about Pottery Barn because to me it is a store for boring suburbanites, but either I turned into one or they have better stuff than I thought, because I like a bunch of their sale section items.

$11 for little, $20 for big News Print Pillar candle
These are paraffin, which I think means they don't have a smell. But how cool would it be if they smelled like newspapers? Or even vanilla....

$64.99 Double drink dispenser
I like these glass drink thingies, and wish I had one. E and I bought something similar in a junk shop but it turns out.... it was junk! It doesn't hold liquids. So now I am on the market again and this double one looks good because you can put lemonade in one and iced tea in the other, or vodka in one and whiskey in the other.

$32.99 Silver plated double jewelry box
This looks like the world's fanciest contacts case, but is actually bigger and meant to hold jewelry. Engraving is classy. Fact.
Give it to your cousin for her Bat Mitzvah or birthday.

$44.99 Audio Unlimited floating speaker ball
WHAAAT!?! Awesome.
Bring your tunes literally in the water with you.
Can't you see Tom and Jean-Ralphio from Parks and Rec buying millions of these?