Friday, July 22, 2011

10 Mistakes Men Make

I mean, there are a lot, amirite ladiez?

But we are here to talk about fashion mistakes.

Here are a few that I am seeing around town and wish I wasn't.

1. Sleeves Too Short

 Sleeves should hang down, like towards the ground. If your tee shirt sleeves are sticking out like wings, you need longer sleeves or a bigger shirt overall. When sleeves are too short like this, your arms look girly and puny in a bad way, no matter how big your muscles are.

2. Shirt too tight

If you see any horizontal folds in your shirt, that means it is stretching too much and you need to size up. Horizontal lines across the chest are especially bad because it can make you look like you have manboobs.

3. Too much V neck
AAARRRGH
Cleavage isn't attractive on dudes. Sorry. Doesn't matter if you're skinny or fat, bare or hairy. We don't need to see this and we would like you to put on a real shirt.

5. Shorts too long
Hey guess what? When you cover your knees like that, you look like a toddler or a Flintstone. You are shortening your whole stature and making your legs into miniature stumps. It looks like you are all butt and skinny ankle. Stop it. Get shorts that end at the knee.
Let's not even go into man capris.

6. Pants too "fun"

I get it, there isn't that much variation in what men can wear day-to-day, and if you are a guy who likes clothes, you want to stand out and have people notice your clothes. But this is not the way. I am sorry, but you can't have fun with your pants.
You have to stick with solids or maybe seersucker or pinstripe or subtle checks, but you can't do the pattern thing or the acid wash thing or the tie-dye thing or the rhinestone thing. Otherwise you look like a clown.
If you want to have fun and show your crazy fashion edge, do it with your shoes.

7. Baggy Crotch

We all know you don't need that much "room."
You just look disproportionate and creepy.


8. Black or White Athletic Sneakers

Leave these at home. All black makes you look like a theater nerd who only gets to work the lighting on Mondays, and all white makes you look like the guy who can only talk to people about math.
You can wear black or white sneakers, but they have to be the fashion kind, not the athletic kind.
Here are some ok ones:
Do those instead.


9. Profanity on tee shirts
Even when the shirt doesn't actually say a swear, it is still really stupid. Do you think you look tough?
Honestly, I think I would expand this to "no writing on tee shirts at all" unless it's one word, smart, or related to a band. Whatever it is, it is not at witty as you think it is and it is turning people off.

10. Velcro Shoes

Be a big boy and ditch the Tevas unless you are white water rafting. Velcro has no place on the street or a grown man's feet. There are plenty of grown-up men's sandals that aren't going to bite you.

3 comments:

  1. I cannot lie- I enjoy #3 on the right dude.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Haha, we call #3 'Aggressive V'

    ReplyDelete
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