Ankle-breakers are the hottest new shoes

Suffering is beauty, right?
And fashion is pain?
That is all I can think of when I see shoes like the ones featured here.
They seem to be designed specifically so women can make one slight mistake and roll off the shoe and break our ankles or worse.

I am a fan of heels (within reason), and I do like funky architectural cantilevered shoes (like these), but you gotta know when to quit and when the tools you are using to walk around are actually working against you.

$59 Black Magic platforms

Ok, so let's look at those.
They have an 8" heel, or should I say "heel," and a 4.5" platform in front.
WHAT?
Come on!
4.5" is already my peak heel height, and adding another 3.5 on that is just crazy. Think about how hard it will be to balance your weight to stand in these. Oh, don't forget, then you have to actually move. Taking a step forward in these shoes sounds about as scary as that first step out of a space shuttle would be.

$87 Pandora platform

So much more reasonable, at 7" right?
NO!
Is this the summerish version of the previous ones?
No wonder these are on sale. I can't imagine a healthy woman looking at them and saying "yes, that is just what I need."


There are plenty more shoes for you to fall off of and tear some tendons:

$99 Privileged Ferra Royal blue tieback heelless platform
I think these are beautiful and architectural and artistic. But I care too much about not having shin splints to ever buy or wear them.

$98 Privileged Karvis black studded platform
These say "I could kick your ass!.... If only I could take more than a two inch step at a time."

$64 Privileged Blithe Coral platforms
It's so much fun to colorblock. Maybe later you can also colorblock your crutches later by spray painting sections!