Dear Internet Beauty Blogs,
You know what is really annoying?
Those linkbait posts that some of you have advertising "5 AMAZING ways to alter your clothes."
You almost never deliver on those promises and the posts don't have anything new or anything interesting.
Plus you make me click through slideshows to find that out. Grrrr.
I recently fell for one of these when there was a "3 unexpected uses for lip gloss."
I clicked on it thinking, hey, I wonder what those are and since there are only 3 and not 12, maybe they will be real and not fluff.
The first tip was to use your lip stuff as blush! OMG! Who would have thought?!
Thanks so much for telling me!
GUESS WHAT: TELLING ME TO USE ONE FACE PRODUCT 1.5 INCHES OVER FROM WHERE I USUALLY USE IT IS NOT NEWS.
It's something that could happen by accident on a bumpy subway!
You are applying your lipstick and whoaaa, you turn your head really quick and some gets on your cheek, but HOLD ON! It looks like blush!! AMAZING DISCOVERY.
So glad someone revealed this secret of the ages.
The second tip was to use your lip stuff as eyeshadow. So you know, if you want the shiny pink lid look that is all the rage NOWHERE, you can do that.
Sometimes I wake up wondering how to make it look like I have a gross conjunctivitis-type disease or that my face is super oily and I've been crying a lot.
Lip gloss lids to the rescue.
The third tip I don't even remember, probably because it was so boring and not a tip.
I'll tell you what it wasn't though; it wasn't anything useful or surprising or amazing or interesting or unexpected.
It wasn't telling me to put my lip gloss on my razor to make it last longer or that lipstick can patch tires or that chapstick is the perfect flea repellent when added to your dog's food. (Well, one reason it wasn't telling me that is because none of those things are true...)
But I want actually surprising tips. Not more of this same repackaged crap that pops up everywhere.