Sometimes when I am on a boring conference call at work, or getting dressed to go out to dinner on the weekend, I find my mind wandering. "Where can I get a pair of enormous weird wings that I can wear to help me look like a constipated moron?"
Well, now I'll have to find a new thing to think about, wont I?
These wings are everything a woman could want.
They are 12 feet wide, made of styrofoam, have a spring that sticks into your back, and look really uncomfortable to wear! Could they be any more perfect?
Next time you feel like standing awkwardly in an unfinished middle school gym, trying to squeeze one out, put on a pair of these babies.
They might not loosen your flow, but they'll certainly distract the police from figuring out what you're doing in there in the first place.
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