Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Random things I don't own and don't want

I was thinking recently about all the random crap I own and that most people own, which made me want to get rid of everything.
But then I started thinking about the "normal" household items that I don't own and that started making me feel a little better. Especially because I've been seeing all this stuff on registry suggestion lists.

Note for all you very nice people who might be looking for gift ideas: I still don't want these things!

My life has been perfectly fine without:

A Rolling Pin
Who am I, a baker? Sometimes I bake and very rarely that baking involves rolling dough out, but it is really rare. And when I need to do it, I can just use a wine bottle.
I can't think of a situation where I have ever wished I had a rolling pin.

13 inch Wooden Rolling Pin

An Iron
I make it a point to buy clothing that either doesn't need to be ironed after washing, or can be dry cleaned where they iron that shit for me.
I am not a washer woman from the middle ages. I don't have the time or energy to be hunching over a shirt trying to get it totally flat just so I can wear it and wrinkle the elbows in 5 seconds flat.

Sometimes I have been known to use my flatiron for straightening my hair on my shirt collars. It's just such a good shape to get those little spaces and you don't even have to take your shirt off.
NOTE: Don't do this. You'll probably burn yourself and it only slightly works.

I do have a steamer which does the job of an iron but even better since it also freshens your clothes with the hot steam. The smoothing and uncreasing functionality of a steamer isn't as good as an iron, but clearly I don't really care about that.


This also by the way means I don't have to have an ironing board. Space saver!

A Shovel
I live in NYC, why would I need a shovel? If only you could shovel away the scent of the sidewalks in the summer, then maybe I'd get a shovel.


Napkin Rings
When I was young, I remember being frustrated at how napkin rings were almost the right size to be bracelets for my little wrists, but I couldn't quite get them on over my hand.
So, even then they were useless.
Cloth napkins are rare these days but we do have some. And guess what: they look just fine without rings on them. You can fold them next to a plate and it's ok.
You don't need to give the thing you wipe your germy mouth on any jewelery. Unless that's your wife. HEYYY-OHH


Gravy Boat
As a vegetarian, I am mostly lacking in things to both put gravy on and to make gravy from. I guess I could make a mushroom gravy and put it on.... other mushrooms?
I can't imagine anyone makes gravy frequently enough to need a special boat for it. A bowl is sufficient, people!


Ice Cream Scoop
Same idea as the gravy boat- a unitasker that does not apply to me. Ice cream should not be such a regular occasion that you need a giant clunky spoon just for getting at it.


I do have some things that other people might put in this list.
I finally broke down and got a pizza cutter when I realized that a lot of the places that deliver don't cut, and that I was making pizza from store-bought dough relatively often.

In general though, there are so many things people have and buy for each other that are really just not worth the space they take up.

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