I met my friend Annie over 8 years ago when we worked together in publishing and she solidified our friendship by doing a mean impression of me in which I sound like a pathetic high pitched sheep while asking her to look at my edits.
She then went on to publish her own book, Happy Birthday or Whatever, which is totally awesome and hilarious and you should buy it.
Fun Fact about Annie's Book #1:
If I recall correctly, the working title of the book while she was writing it was "Do these jeans make my ass look Korean?"
Fun Fact about Annie's Book #2:
Annie had a reading in Brooklyn and also happened to have a killer case of laryngitis at the exact same time. I ended up reading from her book for her in front of the whole bookstore, while she sat mutely in the back. For some reason, the jokes about growing up in a traditional Korean household didn't seem to land as well when told by a random Jew.
Annie wants a couch, and she doesn't have a lot of money because you didn't buy her book yet. You should get on that so she can have a couch.
So let's find her a couch.
I have no idea what kind of couch she wants since her only requests were "not ugly" and "not a million dollars." I don't even know what a million dollar couch would look like but I bet it has a definite imprint where Beyonce's butt was.
Annie's former apartment was teeny, but I'm not sure how big her new one is. Let's assume that it's still NYC sized and that her budget is under $1200.
It's too bad, because I think she really would have liked this one:
$4,900 Coffin Couch
JK! She hates colors!
If it was gray, though...
$580 Cabo Khaki couch (free shipping)
This isn't the most exciting of couches, I must admit, but it's a convertible (the back folds down flat) and it isn't ugg and it is a good price.
$1,095 Aristocrat sofa by Zuo Modern (free shipping)
Yeah it's silver, so what?
It's like jewelry for your living room.
Annie, you're a baller and it's time to start living like one.
$932 Arriga black leather sofa
I can't tell if this is the couch or the packing foam it comes in, but that is all part of the mystery....
It's weird and cool and would look design-y if you had a midcentury modern wooden coffee table and some architectural lamps.
Target is having an inexplicable "buy one get one 50% off sale" on futons and sofabeds right now, so I guess find a friend and split them?
Who needs two futons? And who would happen to need two right at the same time?
Whatever, look at these:
$480 Button-tufted chaise settee
Also comes in green or blue or black/white pattern if you're chicken.
$700 Swoop arm button tufted linen settee
Classic lines, this could move pretty much anywhere. If you end up in a bigger apartment, this could be a great entry bench or end-of-bed seat.
I also like Urban Outfitter's furniture and they are offering free shipping now.
My convertible couch is from here.
$649 Night and Day convertible sofa
I like the clean lines and skinny tapered legs.
$749 Ava Tufted sleeper sofa
Also comes in boring colors like gray and beige, or other fun ones like pink and blue.