Signs that I am gardening too much...

I've been on all sorts of gardening and plant websites recently, hoping that the huge amount of rain we've been getting will lead to spectacular growth for my plants and seedlings. 
And I have come across something I had no idea existed. 

BEHOLD, THE MELON CRADLE! 

$10 for 6 melon cradles

Yeah, it's a piece of plastic that you can put your melon on as it grows to protect the bottom from the ground.

I love my plants, but I am not sure I would buy bras for them.

Supposedly, they help keep the melon from rotting or, god forbid, being kinda flat on one side like the head of a baby who only sleeps on its back.

MILLION DOLLAR IDEA:
Melon cradles but for your "melon up top," aka your head.
Pitch: Do you deform your child's skull and have him look weird in profile photos just to keep him from suffocating while sleeping? Well now you can not kill your kid AND have his head look nice and round with Rebecca's patented Baby Melon Cradle.

Who is underwriting my new business?
Thank you.