The perfect gift for Valentine's Day

This Valentine's Day, show them you care with a cockroach. Or a scorpion. Or if you really want, something furry and cute like an emperor tamarin monkey.

You can "adopt" animals (in name only, you don't get to keep it in your house) through the San Francisco zoo.

$25 Hissing Cockroach adoption

Seems like a good basic option

$50 Scorpion adoption

I don't know why, but it is good to know that you can get 2 cockroaches for a scorpion. This must be the economy somewhere.

$50 Emperor Tamarin adoption

In what world is a basic adoption of this guy the same as a scorpion??

The one thing that might make me enjoy owning 2 cats that I never wanted

 
$35 DJ cat scratch turntable

Who's a little dj? Who's a little dj? YOU ARE

As you can see, this brilliantly conceived cat toy has cardboard scratchy stuff in the shape of a record on top of a turntable emblazoned with anti-dog stickers.

The description:

DJ Whiskers

You may think that cats scratch in order to stretch their muscles and sharpen their claws. Wrong. When you think about it, isn't it obvious that within every feline lurks a wannabe DJ? Kitty is mad pumped to kick it behind the wheels of steel and throw down a dope set of old skool joints, yo!

The reviews and the response to the negative reviews are what really makes the product shine for me:

The scratching surface is not situated at an angle that appeals to cats, so they won't want to scratch it. If they try, it moves and they give up. We tried putting cat nip on top to get the cats interested but they just laid down next to it. . If you are looking for a scratching post to save your furniture or please your cat, save your money. If you want a funny item sitting on your livingroom floor, get this. It is funny, and it will last forever, since your cats won't touch it.

Merchant response: We're sorry your cats don't want to be DJs and we'll gladly help if you'd like to return or exchange it. Please call 1.888.365.0056 to speak with a member of our customer service team.

Are you one of those people who buys their pets holiday and birthday gifts? If so... Just a suggestion.

How to make a table into a 4 poster pet bed

Basically, just turn it over.

For more details though and some pictures, check out this article

It would be cute painted to match an adult 4 poster bed, in the same room.
As if your pet would rather be on its own bed than yours.

Gifts from Land's End

I was looking around the Land's End website and came across a few items that are pretty cheap and would make great gifts:

For your stylish sister/cousin:

$69.99 Remy high heel Gillie lace-up shoes (was $99)

These shoes look fun and comfortable, with the support across the front of the foot and the non-stiletto heel. These could be great work or going out shoes.

For your brother/cousin/boyfriend:

$32 Houndstooth cardigan (was $70)

The contrast piping on the collar and pockets makes this fun and not too grandpa-ish. Though grandpa might enjoy it too.

For the over 21:

$34.99 Needlepoint flask

Leather and cotton surround the stainless steel on the outside, and maybe you could add a bottle of something to go on the inside as well, to complete the gift.

For your aunts and uncles:

$39.99 Striped Tablecloth, runner, and placemat set

These would also be good for recent grads or people trying to set up a home. Simple and clean and easy to blend with any decor. You can add monogrammed initials for $6.

For Mom or Dad:

$49.99 Stripe chenille throw

Everyone loves a cozy blanket, and these neutral colors go with any couch.

For the pet owner:

$64.99 Canvas pet duffel carrier

You should definitely add the $6 embroidery monogramming on this one. So cute!

How to make your own pet bowl stand

This project looks fun and not too hard.
If you have the right tools I guess.
I would try this if I had a saw.

Don't you hate it when there are little pieces of food everywhere and your vacuum just bumps into them?

More idiocy from SkyMall

Not enough?
Here's some more!

$99.99 Color changing shower head light
Is my leg bleeding? Nah, it's just the red cycle on my fun shower light.
The purpose of showering is to get clean and get out, no?
Why would you want to limit what you can see and have a disco dance party in there?

$499 Townhaus dog crate
This puppy jail costs more than my bed. (Thanks, Ikea!)
I understand the desire to not look at a wire crate, but just get some wood and cover it up! You don't need to get a $500 cabinet with one side missing.

$29.99 Cat eyes sleepshirt
What better way to freak out your bedmate than to have them roll over to this in the middle of the night?
Also, true or false: you have seen at least 5 of these walking around as dresses in Williamsburgh

$9.99 Ruby slipper socks
Not gonna lie, I want these.
Why wear shoes and socks when you can fake wearing both by just putting on something with the functionality of neither?

$119.99 Illumicube
What is an illumicube you ask? Well, it's this. And it costs 120 bones.
It has lights, and it sits there. And it's a cube. And it takes up space.
So, if you are looking for a way to spend money and take up space and also want something to blow your frikkin mind when you are high, this is your jam.

$99.99 Touchscreen compatible women's gloves
First of all, let's start off with the fact that you can get touchscreen gloves for under $20 at any convenience store.
Next, let's talk about the look of these. What is going on here?!
For just $100 we can make your fingers look like a frat couch!
Do you want your gloves to show the outside world that you are an assassin? And use your smartphone at the same time? Well congratulations, you've found your item.

$149.95 Ultrasonic hand moisturizer
When I first saw this, I thought it was a nail polish dryer or uv light. But wait, there was one of those 50 pages ago in the catalog. No, turns out, this is a fancy machine that moisturizes your hands. Sonically.
I have never ever seen this before. Do you know anyone who has used anything like this?


And now the piece de resistance, the item to end all items, the cosmic joke of SkyMall.....

ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you......
Drunk Cat Canvas Print!!!!!!!!!

$1,199.95 Drunk Cat Canvas Print

Yes, you read that correctly. This beauty will set you back over $1000.
Also, despite being a name I would absolutely give to this while mocking it, the title of the item really is, in the catalog and everything, "Drunk cat canvas print."

You never need to look at SkyMall again, because this is the best and most outrageously priced thing they will ever offer.

The End.

Hidden litter box

 

$109 Designer catbox

Thanks to my friend Kate for finding this one!
It's a fancy chest that has a hold in the side and a hinging top so you can scoop litter.
Inside there are two compartments, and I don't really understand why, but whatev. Maybe it's so you can have a separate place for the scoop?

In any case, it's way better than having a giant piece of plastic or just an open litterbox around, especially when you have to leave it somewhere like your living room.

Keep in mind that you can also DIY this to match your decor.

Etsy Find of the Day: Pet Ash Pendant

How much do you love your little Fluffy?
Do you love him to death?
Do you love him AFTER death?
Do you love him enough after death to wear him around every day?

I thought so.
Here, for you then, is the pet ash memorial pendant.
After you cremate your best friend/furry child, you send some ash to this chick and she melts hot glass around it I think, and then sends it back to you so you can wear it.
 
Also, you can have it in a color. Didn't Fluffy always seem like he wanted to go red?
Now's his shot.

$60 Tiny treasures pet ash memorial pendant

While I do poke fun at these, they are not a terrible way to remember a pet. Much better than an urn that you have to schlep from one apartment to the next and hope doesn't spill or get knocked over at an inconvenient time, like during a dance party.

Small pet carriers

My lovely bunny has chewed through the main zipper of his carry case, making it a lot harder for me to get him in and out of it.
I am vaguely looking for a new carrier, and it's been hard to find something small enough that he won't shift around in too much.

Here are some I am considering:

$12 Super pet small carrier
7-1/2-Inch long, 10-1/2-inch wide, 6-1/2-inch high
Includes exterior mesh windows for ample airflow for your pets health plus easy clean-up vinyl interior

$9 Come along carrier (small)
10.5"L x 7.5"W x 6.5"H
fresh air vents, a handy storage spot, "E-Z" Carry handle and "E-Z" Zip double zipper design. 

$27 Checked carrier
16"(L) x9"(H) x 8"(W)
Three zippered doors design, you can let your pet in and out easier.
Comfortable bottom pad make your pet sleep comfortably inside the carrier. 
This carry case is airline approved and can put under the airline seat  

$27 Travel Gear front pouch case
 9.5 x 3.2 x 16.5 inches ; 1.5 pounds
Includes mesh panels for ventilation and visibility, inside leash clip

$27 Faux crocodile pet travel bag
Small: 7 x 13 x 9 (width x Length x height)
Airline approved

Adorable mouse flats from Marc by Marc Jacobs

Sometimes your apartment is too small for pets. So you buy shoes.

And having these mice in your apartment is so much better than their live cousins.

$195 Patent leather mouse ballet flats
Cute little metallic nose, little earls, round eyes, whiskers. What's not to love?

$195 slingback mouse ballet flats
Also in slingback

 $195 Leather mouse ballet flat
or non-shiny leather

 $135 Jelly mouse ballet flat
or jelly

Cat litter cabinet

This is a really smart idea.
I always look at the SkyMall catalog and see the special fake planter that hides a litterbox or a faux cabinet, but using a real cabinet looks a lot cheaper and you have many more options of style.

It looks clean and unobtrusive.

Here is the inside:

You can fit a bunch in there!

"We offset [the door] a little bit by putting the door on the far back side, and putting the kitty litter box on the far front side. This lovely little design feature forces my kitties to jump out of the box and walk about on a kitty litter tracking mat seen in the picture above. This results in almost no litter tracking out side of the cabinet!...It keeps all of the kitty mess contained in a the container (there's room for the scoop in there too!) and there is virtually no smell!"

Seems like a great solution, especially when you are tight on space and have to put the litter box in your bedroom or living room and don't want it to smell everything up.

Etsy Finds of the Day: Rabbit toys from The Blissful Bunny

Rabbit owners (like me!) can get great handmade and safe toys from The Blissful Bunny.

$40 Hay box with toy
This box opens at the top for easy loading, and your bunny can eat hay out of the holes (or, if they are anything like my Senator, jump right in).

$4 Rabbit chew toy with bell
What is fun for a rabbit? Mostly the same things that are fun for a rambunctious toddler, i.e. making noise and throwing things. This is perfect for both of those goals.

$20 Bunny Einstein discovery toy
Deceptively simple.
You put a treat underneath the circle and your bunny has to figure out how to get in there.

$9 Hay roller toy and apple twigs
Your bunny can roll this on the ground and dig in it to get the hay.
The twigs are a healthy extra.

There are bunnies in this store window in Soho!

Bunnies!
Go see them at Alexander Berardi's new store.
174 Prince St between Thompson and Sullivan

Pet Portraits by Amelia

Amelia Santiago makes incredible miniature felted 3D portraits of your pets. Imagine your dog got smaller, cuter, and less yappy. It's just like that! She is best at dogs in my opinion, but also does cats, rabbits, pigs, and horses. You send her the pictures of your pet and she makes it into a little felted animal.

She is really good at the details of fur patterns and facial expressions.
I really want her to do one of Senator, my rabbit, for me, but the prices are a little steep for me right now.

This is a morbid thought, but these would be a great for someone who is mourning a lost pet. It's like taxidermy but not gross.

Check these out! Prices seem to range from $235 to $285 depending on size, hair length, and markings.

$245 Small breed long hair/rough coat

$265 Long hair solid or two-shade cat

Look at these pics of the originals with their miniatures: